Adulting is hard if you feel like you don’t quite fit the mold, even though our age is more than enough to qualify us for the title! Adulting is a term, credited to Kelly Williams Brown, that describes the actions we take in adulthood that reflect growth and maturity. In her book, “Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 535 Easy(ish) Steps”, Kelly offers funny and useful tips that can resonate with most of us. The book gives advice on eleven different topics, ranging from how to better your home, how to maintain relationships with your friends and neighbors, and how to manage money.

This book is one of those that may bring up uncomfortable feelings because it can expose a way of thinking that you didn’t realize was harmful! These following tips can be considered growing pains:

“It is nearly always easier to adjust expectations than it is to change the world; your comfort and well-being are up to you”

We know how hard changing our own habits are, yet we often expect the world to change more easily than we can! “I have no control over whether the man behind me is having a loud, gross discussion, but guess what? I don’t have to listen to it…I have my earbuds with me.” The man probably won’t change in the span of time you share with him, but you can change the way you respond by making yourself more comfortable in your own way.

“Be okay with being alone”

Spending time by yourself can result in feelings of loneliness. As social creatures, we are conditioned to be with other people; this is completely healthy! The practice of being alone is also healthy, “…[you] will be with yourself for the rest of your life, so you’d best learn to enjoy your own company.” When you find joy with yourself, and by yourself, you are more self-reliant. This ability does not take away from the joy you feel when you are with others, but it can enhance feelings of happiness while you are alone.

“When necessary, look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself some Real Talk”

Real talk can be hard, but worthwhile. Some of us never get real talk from our loved ones, but you can rely on yourself for this. The next time you are feeling like you want to avoid doing something, look yourself in the mirror, and give yourself some real talk! “Comb your hair, wipe your eyes, you’ve been practicing this speech over and over, get out there and rock it!”, or “He doesn’t treat you right, you need to end this pronto”. Real talk can be hard to hear but is necessary to move forward or to get unstuck.

These are just three tips from the 535 tips that Kelly recommends! We highly suggest picking up this book for a better approach to adulting. With tips like, “Know how to check your car’s oil”, “If there is an issue with a roommate, discuss it calmly and do not allow pressure to build until it explodes”, “Don’t date someone who is mean to you”, and many more. It’s almost like having a pocket-size, wise mother in your corner for your most troubling intrapersonal debates.